In honor of 100th Season, Bears to Start 100 Different Quarterbacks

by Alex Poletti

As the Chicago Bears celebrate their 100th season as an NFL club, Bears president Ted Phillips unveiled the team’s plan to start 100 different quarterbacks this year to honor the longevity of the organization.

“We want to show how much our history means to us,” Phillips declared in an official press conference celebrating the team’s centennial anniversary. “Also, we kind of planned on bringing those guys in anyway, so it just kind of worked out.”

After years of an underwhelming Jay Cutler, Chicago seems to have found its savior in an underwhelming Mitchell Trubisky, who ranked in the lower third of starting QBs in stats like yards and quarterback rating. Although he is still young, just entering his junior season in pro ball, the Bears are never too early to start messing things up.

“When we think of the glory days of our team,” general manager Ryan Pace says, “we think about the amazing quarterback carousels that came through the Windy City. I mean, the combination of Cutler, Barkley and Hoyer was iconic.”

Despite their long and storied past, the Bears have never had much success at the quarterback position, with only one in the Hall of Fame; Sid Luckman, who spent most of his career playing exclusively against men who could not jump, to put it nicely.

“We’ve always strived to have an unreliable leader of the offense,” Bears head coach Matt Nagy says. “That’s the tactic we’ve used to stave off the Lombardi trophy since 1986, and we’ll stick to it. I’m glad we’re appreciating the unique aspects of the Bears organization for year 100.”

So far, the Bears have already tapped Trubisky with the game one starting nod, but hope to scoop up the remainder of the free agent pool to fill out the remaining 99. Such powerful offensive forces as Josh McCown, Matt Schaub, Matt Cassel and Brock Osweiler are available and likely to make an appearance in 2019.

“Those are still some big names, but we are a bit disappointed that some others, such as Geno Smith and Blake Bortles aren’t available,” Pace says. “I guess some other teams are celebrating the same way we are.”

While the honorary quarterback cycle will be fun for longtime fans, there has been some worry that Trubisky wouldn’t take the news well. It seems that, although he is a little disappointed, he understands the team’s decision.

“I get that the team is doing something special,” Trubisky starts, “but it would’ve been nice for the ownership to have some faith in me. I think I have the capabilities to underwhelm at quarterback all by myself.”

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