Trade Block Inactive as Three GMs Remain in Mexican Standoff

by Alex Poletti

As the calendar creeps towards July 31, the baseball world remains anxious about who will end up on what team for the remainder of the season. However, with less than a week until the trade deadline, no significant moves have been made, most likely due to the continuing mexican standoff between three general managers.

According to sources close to the Yankees front office, New York GM Brian Cashman has been stoically making eye contact with Red Sox GM Dave Dombrowski and Cubs GM Theo Epstein for at least a week as their hands hover over their pistols. Once this is settled, the source tells The Second String, trades will resume as normal.

“It’s a very difficult situation to navigate,” Cashman says. “If one of us waives a player or makes a phone call to a selling team, that’s a signal for the other guys to pull out their guns and shoot.”

For any of the three World Series contenders, a move made by one of the other teams could be detrimental to their own playoff chances. Thus, the GMs have to be quick to the draw if another team moves.

This standoff is especially decisive for Dombrowski and the Red Sox, who remain in the playoff race, but may look to sell if their chances begin to dwindle.

“I don’t know how we’re going to place,” the Red Sox front office leader shouts to his two foes, “but I’m 11 games behind in the division and in a few games out of the second wild card. I have nothing to lose!”

In true Sergio Leone fashion, it’s uncertain how long this standoff will last before any of the GMs start shooting, but it could be dragged out for quite some time for dramatic effect.

“We all know the rules here,” Epstein orates. “At the end of the season, only one general manager is left standing. We play fair, we trade by the rules, but there can only be one.”

The suspense of the three trailblazing front offices being locked in a duel has definitely stilted the entire league’s trades. Given that many other teams take their cues from the great minds of Epstein, Dombrowski and Cashman, this is not a shock.

“I’m not going to move until that standoff is settled,” Reds GM Nick Krall says. “Mainly because we just try to copy whatever Theo Epstein does. If he doesn’t make any moves, I don’t know how to be a competent general manager.”

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