Glass Family Agrees to Sell Kansas City Royals Back to British Royal Family

by Alex Poletti

Kansas City Royals owner David Glass and his family announced that they have come to an agreement to sell the franchise to the British monarchy. This will usher in a new era of baseball to the City of Fountains. The deal also marks an increased interest in baseball across the pond.

“We are pleased that both sides could agree on a deal that will keep the Royals alive and well,” Glass says. “And who understands the Royals better than royalty? People who actually watch baseball? Nonsense.”

The deal is said to be worth $1 billion, or about £822,505,000. Twenty years ago, Glass bought the team for just $96 million.

Many believe that the purchase indicates the Royals will move to London; it’s been long speculated that the UK capital would be the next city to receive an expansion franchise. However, the crown has decreed that the team will stay in Kansas City for now.

The deal comes out of left field for most, as the monarchy has never made an attempt at buying a franchise before. So why now? The Second String spoke to Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan Markle about the decision.

“When the Yankees and Red Sox came over to play, we quite enjoyed it,” Harry explains. “We decided if we were going to purchase a team, it might as well be one that represents the values of the royal family. When I saw the Royals were for sale, I said ‘Bingo!’”

The decision was also spurred by Meghan Markle’s infrequent (yet present) home sickness. Hoping the ownership of the team might bring Markle reason to visit her former residencies in Los Angeles and Toronto, Prince Harry was quick to jump at the bite; however, his ineptitude of American geography put a hitch in his plan.

“I went to Meghan and told her I had gotten a team in Kansas City so she could go visit home with ease,” Prince Harry. “She broke the news to me nicely that Missouri is nowhere near either of those places. I had no idea, we don’t really give a shit about how America’s laid out over here. We’re still happy with the team though.”

Shrewd readers may have noticed that the headline to this piece reads “Glass Family Agrees to Sell Kansas City Royals Back to British Royal Family,” which raises the question: when did the British own the Royals to begin with?

“The way we see it, everything in America was ours,” Harry concludes. “It’s nice to have a bit of it back in the Royals organization.”

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