Brewers to Replace Christian Yelich with Pete Davidson for Remainder of Season

by Alex Poletti

Brewers fans everywhere were heartbroken as superstar outfielder Christian Yelich crouched in agony after taking a foul ball off his right knee. After the game had concluded, the team announced that the reigning MVP’s knee cap was fractured as a result of the incident, ending his season. Milwaukee, still in the thick of the postseason race, was quick to sign comedian and certified Yelich look-alike Pete Davidson to replace his doppleganger for the rest of the year.

“It’s really awful to see Yeli go down like that,” general manager David Stearns says. “He’s such a core part of the team, and it’s hard to find someone that can replicate that kind of production. However, Pete Davidson looks a hell of a lot like Christian, so hopefully everyone won’t know the difference.”

The Brewers don’t expect Davidson to produce at the same level as the Silver Slugger, rather they want to fool opposing teams into thinking Christian Yelich is still playing.

The “Saturday Night Live” performer has been drawing comparisons to Yelich since his days in Miami. The Staten Island native even remarked that he looked like Christian Yelich on crack. The Brewers hope to use even that part of the comparison to their advantage.

“If we’re really going to pass Pete off as Yelich, then this works to our benefit,” Brewers manager Craig Counsell says. “I mean, no one would expect Yelich to return to form immediately after taking a ball to the knee. If Pete looks cracked up on the field, it’s just some added realism.”

Yelich was the key to the Brewers’ success this season, tearing up the league in his encore season after winning the MVP. The team leader in almost every significant offensive category, Yelich’s loss will be felt heavily on a team 5.0 games out of the NL Central and just a game and a half back of the Cardinals for the second wild card.

Despite the obvious similarity in looks, the signing comes as a puzzlement to some, given the Brewers’ need to replicate Yelich’s power to keep the offense potent. Many on the team are skeptical if Pete Davidson can produce at the same level as Christian Yelich, especially given his meager swings when he took batting practice with the Marlins back in 2017.

“When you think about it, Pete has all the fundamentals to be a great baseball player,” Counsell explains. “He has questionable athleticism, a modest upbringing and a celebrity girlfriend way out of his league. He fits the bill perfectly.”

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