by Alex Poletti
It’s a bad news day for those who were big fans of the Dallas Cowboys’ core inspired by Tex-Mex food. America’s team waived former defensive end Taco Charlton, bringing the experiment of signing players representative of the Mexican fusion cuisine to a close.
“It was a very interesting chapter in our history, there’s no doubt about it,” Cowboys owner Jerry Jone says. “We really wanted to have a strong group of players all named after Tex-Mex items, but it wasn’t meant to be. That strategy didn’t prove fruitful, so we’re just going to go back to throwing massive amounts of money at running backs.”
Charlton was a first round pick back in 2017, going 28th overall to the Boys. However, after two seasons, it was evident that the Michigan alum wasn’t up to snuff with the rest of the defense. Quickly after tweeting “Free Me” after sitting week two, Charlton was released from the squad.
“When we first started modeling our team after Mexican entrees, we knew we had to go after Taco,” Jones, who’s the kind of white person that thinks tortillas are spicy, continues. “He was really the cog in that Tex-Mex machine. Once he started to falter, the whole team fell with him.”
Tex-Mex is a subculture of Southwestern cuisine, with cheese playing a larger part than it does in traditional Mexican food. The most famous creation of Tex-Mex is queso, a quasi-cheesy concoction that some assholes from the Southwest won’t stop telling you about. Given the Texas representation, it seemed like the perfect cuisine after which the Cowboys should craft its team. Unfortunately, not all things go according to plan.
“In hindsight, missing out on Jabrill Peppers in the 2017 draft was the beginning of the end,” Jones recalls. “We only had one pick late in the first round, and we chose Taco over Peppers. It seemed like the logical move. I think ideally, we’d have Taco and Peppers heading our defense, and we’d hire Jerry Rice as a wide receiver coach. That way, we’d be about halfway to a full meal.”
Charlton and Peppers were actually teammates in college at the University of Michigan. While in college, they both played in the Citrus Bowl; those familiar with Tex-Mex know that both citrus and bowls are integral to the seasoning and preparation of the food.
Is it possible that there could be a Tex-Mex reunion with the New York Giants. General manager Dave Gettleman weighs in.
“We’re starting Daniel Jones this week, I think we have enough creative ways to fail,” Gettleman says.