Twins Fan Awakes from Decade-Long Coma to Realize Nothing Has Changed

by Alex Poletti

After a horrific car accident left St. Paul native Felipe Murdock comatose in October of 2009, the Twins die-hard has finally awakened to discover that his life is in no way different, given the Twins were still swept by the Yankees in the ALDS.

“I remember I was listening to game two on the radio back in 2009,” Murdock remembers, “and then I saw a car coming and I woke up in the hospital. Game three was on the TV, so I thought I’d just been out for a day. I knew it hadn’t been long, because the Twins were still getting absolutely rammed by the Yankees.”

When Murdock saw the telecast read “2019,” he thought he had just misread the number. After a while, he considered the possibility that the telecast was incorrect. It wasn’t until his sister Susan came in the room and explained the situation that he finally understood.

“Honestly, as a Twins fan, I’m surprised it didn’t hit me a little earlier,” the 43-year-old bartender says. “I knew that all the fringe-of-relevance Twins players seemed a little more vague than usual, but I thought my memory was just a bit hazy.”

2019 marks the fourth consecutive Minnesota playoff appearance ended in the first round by the Bronx Bombers. In 2009, 2010, much like the current year, Minnesota was swept in the ALDS. In 2017, the Yankees were much kinder, taking out the Twins in the Wild Card game instead. The Twins haven’t won a postseason game since 2004.

Despite seeing his favorite team lose in pathetic fashion again, Murdock is actually glad that his Twins performed so poorly.

“This is good for me,” Murdock says. “So much in my life has changed. My wife left me. My daughter’s now in college. I don’t really have a job any more. I need one thing to stay consistent, so I’m glad that the Twins are still getting knocked out of the playoffs by the Yankees like they have been for years.

According to his doctors, Murdock’s vitals show that he actually woke from the coma once before in October of 2017. However, this was during the Wild Card game. Doctors hypothesize that he saw Didi Gregorius hit a three-run home run in the first inning and decided it was better to be in constant slumber.

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