Amateur Football Players Terrified to Learn XFL Combine Held on Casting Couch

by Alex Poletti
Photo by CBS Sports

Things are off to a rocky start for Vince McMahon’s newly-revamped XFL, as some potential players have balked after hearing that the league’s combine will be held on the casting couch.

“Oh god, I didn’t realize that’s what the X stood for,” eighth-round pick Corey Vereen says. “I didn’t know that’s the kind of stamina they were testing.”

Vereen decided not to play in the league after hearing that the pay was too low, which is a similar story to many who have used the casting couch as a career move.

The league faces an uphill battle, attempting to compete with a goliath in the National Football League. The last league to do so, the Alliance of American Football, folded before the end of their first regular season. Even so, the AAF had teams in cities without an NFL counterpart, while seven of eight cities hosting XFL teams also have NFL franchises. However, McMahon is sure that his league will succeed.

“We’re putting a spin on football,” the WWE CEO says. “I mean, who doesn’t want to see the NFL with more dicks?”

The XFL, which held its first and only season in 2001, was reinstated as an attempt to create a less controversial and political league than the NFL. This includes contracts that forbid kneeling in protest for the National Anthem. The attempt at non-controversy has already been hindered by the involvement of notorious asshole Vince McMcahon.

Other players weren’t as comfortable with the idea. Even after red flags went up, like the producers of the XFL asking to film the combine with a low quality camera, many athletes didn’t realize what was going on until it was too late.

“Well, I guess now I know what they mean when they said they wanted players like Nick Foles,” 36th pick Sean Price says.

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