‘My Life is Incomplete Without a World Series Win’ Says Multi-Millionaire Justin Verlander, Consoled by Supermodel Wife

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Getty Images

Despite pitching admirably, allowing three runs in five innings, Justin Verlander was no match for Stephen Strasburg in game six of the World Series. Verlander was tagged with the loss, his sixth in seven starts in the Fall Classic, extending his streak for most starts without a win on baseball’s biggest stage. With his daughter, supermodel wife, hundreds of millions of dollars and dozens of vintage cars surrounding him, the Cy Young candidate expressed frustration that his life wasn’t that good.

“I’ve pitched there seven times, and I have nothing to show for it,” the 2011 AL MVP muses from his $5.5 million mansion in Beverly Hills, with his wife, three-time Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover girl Kate Upton, stroking his hair. “Is anything in my life remotely remarkable if I don’t have a World Series win?”

Verlander is one of the most decorated pitchers of our generation, with a Cy Young, an MVP, a pitching triple crown and a World Series ring to show for his efforts. He’s also one of the richest, with his $33 million average salary for the next two seasons being the highest for a pitcher in baseball history. Unfortunately, it’s all for naught, as the game six loss ensures that Verlander will go another season without a World Series win to add to his resume.

“What am I supposed to do with my time?” Verlander says haplessly. “Drive around in my Lamborghini or one of my two Ferraris? Have sex with one of the most beautiful women in the world? Raise my beautiful daughter? What a bunch of bullshit.”

The problems keep piling up for Verlander, who not holds this unfortunate MLB record, but also has more luxury cars than can fit in his garage. Not to mention, his projected $85 million net worth puts him in the highest tax bracket, so he’s getting screwed by Uncle Sam, too.

“You think that God would have given me something good in my life,” the future Hall of Famer says. “But no, I’m forced to struggle down here with nothing to cherish. I spend most of my time here in Houston, and while everyone else celebrates and gets wins, I have to sit here with nothing. Jesus, this must be the hardest thing anyone in the city of Houston has had to go through in the past couple of years.”

3 thoughts on “‘My Life is Incomplete Without a World Series Win’ Says Multi-Millionaire Justin Verlander, Consoled by Supermodel Wife”

  1. You are the most worldly and unappreciative of people. You already have a world championship, more money than most people can even dream of, more worldly possessions than most can think of and a beautiful and loving family but that’s not enough. What is enough Justin? Listen to your heart and not your mind. Look at what you have and need. Everything else is an endless want that will never be satisfied.


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