Gerardo Parra Reveals to Nationals that World Series Ring Was Inside Them All Along

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Frey/The Washington Post

Acting as a clubhouse leader throughout the 2019 postseason en route to a World Series championship, outfielder Gerardo Parra had a message for his fellow Washington teammates: the World Series ring that they all wanted so badly was inside them all along.

“Wow, I never thought of it that way,” the longest tenured National, infielder Ryan Zimmerman says. “I’ve looked so hard for October glory, but I never thought to look within myself. Gerardo taught me that this was really an internal journey.”

Though his stats were lackluster in the postseason, Parra’s clubhouse presence can not be stated enough, becoming a Washington D.C. icon in the process due to his “Baby Shark” walk-up song. Not only did he inspire all players to do their best, but he left each teammate with the gift of self reflection.

“The World Series is a metaphor,” three-time Cy Young winner Max Scherzer realizes. “To reach the top of the world, you need to face the odds, never stop fighting and work together as a team. It’s wonderful to see at least one group of people in Washington learn something.”

The 2019 season was historical for the Nationals, as they won their first NLDS since moving from Montreal in 2005. They easily dispatched of the Cardinals in the Championship Series before winning the Fall Classic against the Houston Astros in seven games for their first title in franchise history. As the team with the oldest average age, the sage wisdom of the Nationals allowed them to learn from Parra’s teachings.

“I totally get what he’s saying,” World Series MVP Stephen Strasburg says. “What material good does the World Series give you? A ring, but not much else. The real reward is the feeling, and that’s a feeling you can get achieve through self discovery. What Parra taught me most is that if I really wanted a Corvette, I could’ve just bought one. That’s much easier than having to win an MVP award for it.”

After all the players became more enlightened by Parra, the veteran outfielder transcended his corporeal form and transformed into a spiritual baby shark, flying off into the distance after giving his final decree.

“I leave you with this figurative speech, that the World Series ring was within you all along,” Parra says. “Except it’s literal with Bryce Harper. I shoved one up his ass before he left for Philadelphia.”

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