Trae Young Declares Game Over After Hitting Three with 10 Minutes Left in First Quarter

by Alex Poletti
Photo by John Amis/AP

In a showing of cocksure clairvoyance, Atlanta Hawks point guard Trae Young declared the game against the Indiana Pacers over after draining a three-pointer from the top of the key with 10 minutes left in the first quarter of play. After the shot, the Hawks led by two points.

“This game is over, it’s fricking over,” Young, a middle schooler with a fake ID, taunts Malcolm Brogdon of the Pacers, who was guarding him at the time of the shot. “Go home now, you can’t come back from this lead.”

This is not the first time that Young has ended a game without consulting the refs, fans or other players; Young told Miami Heat star Jimmy Butler the same thing when Atlanta led them by six with less than a minute to play. The Heat came back and blew the Hawks out in overtime.

“Up two? Three whole quarters to play? Good luck, my guy,” the Gremlin fed after midnight continues. “This is insurmountable right now. You only have 36 minutes to make up this decifict. You got nothing on me.”

What has inspired the spree of statements from the 2018 fifth overall pick? A Napoleonic complex? Head psychoanalyst for The Second String, Aidan Eno, ways in.

“There are multiple ways to analyze Young’s behavior,” Eno, a professor at the Minnesota Catholic University for Hopeless Children, explains. “My professional opinion is that after the Doncic trade, Young began to suffer from a severe inferiority complex. This led him to dissociate, and now he actually believes he is playing on the Dallas Mavericks. So when he thinks his team is winning, he actually believes he is a contributing member of the 17-7 Mavs. A Freudian analysis, of course, reveals that having sex with his mother would solve this issue.”

Young was slated to be the centerpiece for a rebuilding Atlanta Hawks team, modeled by general Travis Schlenk after the shooting-happy Warriors. While Young has been decent, he’s a far cry from Steph Curry.

After Young’s comment to Brogdon, the Pacers proceeded to surmount the two-point lead and beat the Hawks by a final score of 110-100.

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