Jameis Winston Starting to Wonder If Throwing to Other Team Doesn’t Result in Success

by Alex Poletti
Photo by AP Photo

Sitting pensively in the locker room following a 23-20 loss to the Houston Texans, Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Jameis Winston began to wonder if throwing four interceptions to the other team may not be the best way to win a football game.

“I’m just throwing this out here, but if I were to pass the ball to my OWN teammate instead of someone on the other team, maybe we’d score a touchdown,” the former first overall draft pick says aloud. “I’m still workshopping this one, but I think there’s something to it.”

Saturday’s game was especially rough for the Bucs signal caller, as he threw only one touchdown against four interceptions, resulting in one of his worst stat lines of the season. Winston has developed a reputation for handing out picks like Tom Hooper desperately handing out tickets to the premiere of the “Cats” movie.

“If I reconsider the idea of an NFL offense, it makes sense to move the ball forward,” the Heisman winner says. “If I throw the ball to the other team, then the offense won’t move forward at all; in fact, it may even stop the drive altogether. This could be a game changer, fellas.”

While Winston is clearly taking some me-time to rediscover the meaning of offense, his head coach brings up an alternate hypothesis for why the pass-heavy QB may have a propensity to give opposing defenses a few extra catches.

“Deep down, despite an entire personal history to the contrary, Jameis is actually a really charitable guy,” head coach and guy who definitely holds his playbook upside down without noticing Bruce Arians says. “You can tell he feels bad for opposing defenses because they never get to catch the ball with any frequency. He’s a man of the people; those people just happen to play for the Houston Texans.”

Indeed, the Texans defense was a major beneficiary of Winstons’s charitable endeavors. The squad scored a touchdown off one of the Bucs’ five turnovers.

The extra points were necessary for the Texans, as their regular star DeShaun Watson was unimpressive, who had less than 200 yards without a touchdown.”

“Thank God Jameis was serving up picks,” Pro Bowl wide receiver DeAndre Hopkins laments, “because DeShaun sure didn’t complete a pass. Maybe if I switch positions and become a defensive back, I may actually get some decent targets.”

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