‘It Was a Hard-fought Game,’ Drew Brees Tells Other Folks at His Retirement Home

by Alex Poletti

Following a heartbreaking loss to the Minnesota Vikings, 40-year-old New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees commended his opponents for their effort to the other people in the common area of his retirement home.

“What can I say, it was a hard-fought football game,” the all-time touchdown leader tells a few World War II veterans trying to watch a Jimmy Stewart film. “They just made more plays than we did, and at the end of the day, that’s all that matters.”

Brees performed well enough against the victorious Vikings in the Superdome, accruing 208 passing yards and a touchdown against one interception. It wasn’t enough to power past a rejuvenated Dalvin Cook and a surprisingly good performance from postseason Kirk Cousins.

“They really brought their A-game today,” the third oldest player in the NFL says, wandering into the memory care unit. “Kirk was firing on all cylinders. It’s hard to beat that team when they have it all going at once. I’d tell you more about it, but I don’t want to miss water aerobics.”

This loss was especially tough for Brees, who is nearing the end of his career. While he has made no official announcement yet, retirement speculation has already started for the 40-year-old signal caller. Still, age is getting the better of him, as he recently turned in his million-dollar New Orleans house for a nice room at a New Orleans retirement community.

“It’s a really hard loss, I have to admit,” Brees, who hears people say “OK, Boomer,” to him on a regular basis, tells his waiter in the dining area. “By the way, sir, this cream of mushroom soup is far too hot.”

Brees has had one of the finest careers of any quarterback in the history of the sport, recently passing Peyton Manning as the all-time passing touchdown leader, having already passed the former Colt in passing yards. Despite his success, he only has one Super Bowl win to his name.

“I’d love to win another before I retire,” Brees says from his chaise lounge, now apparently speaking to the wall while trying to figure out how the new-fangled TV works. “You know, back in my day we had to play Super Bowls in the snow. And the field was slanted uphill both ways!”

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