by Alex Poletti
Photo by AP Photo/Matt Rourke
In a move that confused many in the football world, the NFL GOAT Tom Brady declared for the XFL draft. This move will end his two-decade stint with the New England Patriots, as well as his NFL service time.
“I want to prove that I’m the greatest to play this game,” Brady, a six-time Super Bowl champion, says, “and I want to prove that I can do it without the Patriots. Therefore, I will play in a league with vastly inferior players, coaches and facilities.”
While the NFL draft narrative is focused on Bombing for Burrow, the XFL draft will now center around Tanking for Tom. Brady figures to be the best player in the league, given his competition consists of practice squad talent at best.
“The XFL gives me everything I want for my future,” the three-time MVP says. “The way Roger Goodell has handled the NFL is shameful. Haven’t we all looked at Vince McMahon and said, ‘This is the guy who should run a football league?’”
Given his superstar status, Tom Terrific is unlikely to be penalized in a similar fashion to what he saw during his Patriot days. He received a four-game suspension at the start of the 2015 season for his role in the Deflategate scandal.
“You want balls to be deflated?” XFL commissioner Oliver Luck asks. “We’ll change the regulations for you. We’ll also set up a camera focused on the other team’s sideline to stream to you 24-7. Whatever you want, Tom, we’ve got it for you.”
Brady has transcended scandal to become widely regarded as the greatest football player of all time. He currently ranks second in passing touchdowns and yards, both behind Drew Brees. If he continued playing in the NFL for a couple more seasons, he would likely vie for those titles; however, after a down year and a frustrated first-round loss to the Titans, he’s decided to go a different route.
“If Bill [Belichick] isn’t going to give me the weapons to succeed, I’ll go to a place that does,” the Michigan alum says. “In this league, they probably let you bring actual weapons on the field, too.”
Of course, with teams in New York and Los Angeles, the XFL still gives Brady what he really craves: a big market.
“I’m happy to play in a city that can truly support me,” Brady says. “I can’t wait to fill a municipal soccer stadium in LA to half capacity and show the fans how this game should be played.”