Mitch Trubisky Gets Emotional Discussing Deshaun Watson’s New Contract

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Pool Photo-USA TODAY Sports

Following Houston Texans quarterback Deshaun Watson’s four-year extension worth north of $160 million, a tearful Mitch Trubisky, who was drafted before both Watson and reigning Super Bowl MVP Patrick Mahomes, told reporters how he felt about the good news.

“I’m lost for words, honestly,” the second overall pick of the 2017 NFL draft says. “I’ve been crying a little bit. A lot a bit really. I’m so… happy for Deshaun and Patrick. I’m glad they ended up on teams with great offensive lines. I’m not bitter about it at all.”

Trubisky has undoubtedly fared the worst out of the three quarterbacks taken in the first round of his draft. Both Watson and Mahomes have churned out a pair of Pro Bowl seasons and have been paid accordingly; alongside Watson’s contract, Mahomes signed a deal over half a billion dollars. In the meanwhile, Trubisky doesn’t even have a starting job entering the 2020 season.

“It’s wonderful, he’s clearly a generational talent,” Trubisky says through tears as celebrities and friends alike congratulate the Clemson product. “He’s got a good arm, for sure. The best arm of the class? I don’t know. I’m sure if some other players got the chance, they’d also do pretty well.”

While there are aspects of Tribusky’s game that are objectively critiqueable, the poor performance of his offensive line cannot be overlooked. The Bears line consistently ranked in the bottom fourth of all NFL teams, compared to the Texans and Chiefs, who rank in the middle of the pack or higher.

“I just didn’t realize running would be as important as it is,” the North Carolina alumnus says. “I thought the throwing would be the important part, but I guess not. Again, I’m super happy for Deshaun, but I don’t see why we’re talking about this when we could be talking about why some other first-round quarterbacks aren’t getting paid, you know? Something to consider.”

After Watson’s congratulatory zoom ended, Trubisky curled up in a corner of his room and sobbed for the next few hours, making him unreachable for further comment.

*This article is a work of satire. Though certain elements and quotes may be based on true events, this should not be taken as fact.

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