Author: Alex Poletti

Tom Brady Becomes First Active AARP Member to Win Super Bowl MVP

by Alex Poletti
Photo by CBS Sports

Tom Brady had something to prove this season, leaving the New England Patriots for the greener pastures of Tampa Bay. He has more than silenced his critics, winning his seventh Super Bowl and becoming the first active AARP member to be named the game’s MVP. Continue reading “Tom Brady Becomes First Active AARP Member to Win Super Bowl MVP”

New York Jets Fire Adam Gase in Fancy Restaurant So He Won’t Make a Scene

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Ron Chenoy 

In a move the football world has seen coming since before the season began, the New York Jets have decided to part ways with head coach Adam Gase after an abysmal season. Hoping to avoid making a scene, the Jets decided to conduct this meeting at a fancy restaurant. Continue reading “New York Jets Fire Adam Gase in Fancy Restaurant So He Won’t Make a Scene”

Football Team Somehow Least Embarrassing Thing in Washington DC This Week

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

There’s been a reversal of fortune in the nation’s capital this week, as—thanks to an unexpected playoff berth and a LOT of help from a select group of people—the Washington Football Team is no longer the least embarrassing thing in their city. Continue reading “Football Team Somehow Least Embarrassing Thing in Washington DC This Week”

DeVonta Smith Heisman Win Shows Little Guy Can Win If by Little You Mean 6’1 and Shredded

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Tom Pennington | Credit: Getty Images

Almost 30 years after a receiver was awarded the Heisman Trophy, another name was added to that short list on Tuesday when Alabama wideout DeVonta Smith won the prestigious honor. His win shows that there’s hope for the little guy, as long as the little guy is still of above-average height and in peak physical shape. Continue reading “DeVonta Smith Heisman Win Shows Little Guy Can Win If by Little You Mean 6’1 and Shredded”

Looking to Avoid Going to Jacksonville, Trevor Lawrence Takes Notes from Tua, Dislocates and Fractures Hip

by Alex Poletti
Photo by nypost.com

Realizing his chance of playing for a good football team are evaporating the further Clemson gets into the College Football Playoffs, generational quarterback talent Trevor Lawrence took a page from Tua Tagovailoa’s playbook and severely fractured his hip to drop a few spots in the draft following a 49-28 loss against Ohio State in the Sugar Bowl. Continue reading “Looking to Avoid Going to Jacksonville, Trevor Lawrence Takes Notes from Tua, Dislocates and Fractures Hip”

BREAKING: Dwayne Haskins Signs with Washington Professional Strip Club

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Scott Galvin, USA TODAY Sports

Despite an unceremonious end to his tenure with the Washington Football Team, former first round pick Dwayne Haskins didn’t stay on the market for long, signing with the Washington Professional Strip Club, the premier gentlemen’s club in the nation’s capital. Continue reading “BREAKING: Dwayne Haskins Signs with Washington Professional Strip Club”

After World Series Victory, Dodgers Name Kevin Cash Best Manager in LA History

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Kevin Jairaj / USA TODAY Sports/Reuters

As Julio Urias got the called third strike on the inside half of the plate, the young lefty ended a 32-year drought for the Los Angeles Dodgers. While the likes of Mookie Betts, Cody Bellinger and Clayton Kershaw were celebrating, they all had to acknowledge the impact of the manager who made their victory possible: Kevin Cash of the Rays.

“He really turned the game around for us,” Betts says of the Rays manager. “Without his presence, we wouldn’t have won tonight. It’s as simple as that.”

In an era of micro-managing, Cash took the cake on Tuesday, pulling Cy Young Award winner Blake Snell after he gave up just his second hit of the game with one out in the sixth inning. Immediately after he was pulled, the top of the Dodgers lineup scored two runs, enough to put the game away for good.

“It was a brilliant managerial move,” Dave Roberts, the manager for the 2020 champs, says. “I wish I had thought of it. I’d like to think I know what I’m doing, but I could never do as good of a job making the Dodgers win as Kevin did today.”

The Dodgers have been the best team in baseball on paper for the better half of the last decade, but they have pulled up just short of immortality a couple of times. While some of this can be attributed to the cheating of the Astros and Red Sox, Dave Roberts’ postseason ineffectiveness cannot be denied.

“We’ve always had the talent, but getting the managerial side of things down has always been the hard part,” President of Baseball Operations Andrew Friedman says. “Once we realized that the best manager for us could be on the other side of the diamond, it opened up a whole bunch of new opportunities for us.”

After pulling Snell and letting Nick Anderson, who despite having a stellar regular season could not pitch a scoreless inning to save his life in October, pitch to the most potent lineup in baseball, Cash cemented his place among the likes of Tommy Lasorda and Walter Alston as the most impactful skippers in Dodgers history.

“It’s crazy that one decision put me in such great company,” Cash, who has already re-downloaded Linkedin on his phone to look for new job opportunities, says. “I always knew I’d win a World Series. I just never realized it wouldn’t be for my own team.”


NFL Week 4: Top Fantasy Football Tips from The Second String

by Alex Poletti
Photo by NFLspinzone

As we near the quartermark of the NFL season, the frontrunners start to cement their playoff berths while everyone else just tries to stay afloat. The last week until week 12 without byes, now is the last time you’ll be able to play with your full team for a while, so you better take advantage. With that in mind, here are the top fantasy football tips of the week, brought to you by The Second String. Continue reading “NFL Week 4: Top Fantasy Football Tips from The Second String”

Twins Fans Switch TVs to Presidential Debate to Watch Something Less Infuriating

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images

As day one of the Major League Baseball postseason winds down, it’s clear that one narrative in particular is going to be hard to shake: the Minnesota Twins still can’t win a postseason baseball game. The Minnesota faithful, frustrated by the state of their team, collectively decided to watch the first Presidential Debate instead so they could relax with some less infuriating content. Continue reading “Twins Fans Switch TVs to Presidential Debate to Watch Something Less Infuriating”

Nuggets Excited to Be Down 3-1 Again So They Can Finally Start Playing Their Best Basketball

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Mark J. Terrill/Associated Press

Despite facing elimination after a massacre at the hands of LeBron James and Anthony Davis, the mood in the Denver Nuggets clubhouse is hardly somber. Instead, the scrappy team is teeming with excitement, as they are now able to play good basketball trailing three games to one. Continue reading “Nuggets Excited to Be Down 3-1 Again So They Can Finally Start Playing Their Best Basketball”