Author: Luke DePalatis

State Farm Roster Gets Significant Boost After Trading Cliff Paul for Roman Westbrook

by Luke DePalatis

NBA player Russell Westbrook’s brother, Roman Westbrook, has announced his excitement to join an all new team: State Farm.

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Baseball World Shocked to Discover that Pitcher Who Was Never Good but Suddenly is Good Taking Drugs that Make Him Good

by Luke DePalatis

Major League Baseball announced earlier today that Oakland Athletics pitcher Frankie Montas has been suspended 80 games for his use of the performance enhancing drug Ostarine. The announcement comes as a shock to the baseball world, who has been admiring Montas’ surgence in this season. Montas proudly owns a 9-2 record with a dazzling 2.70 ERA through 90 innings pitched.

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Toronto Fans Blasted for Cheering After Eight-Year-Old Warriors Fan Falls, Skins Knee

by Luke DePalatis

After the Golden State Warriors managed to pull together a miracle win in the NBA finals last night, all was looking up for 8-year-old Timmy Miller, a local Oakland resident and Warriors fan. Though an emotionally taxing game, due to Kevin Durant’s injury, Timmy was in his front yard, shooting hoops with his father, Todd.

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Troy Tulowitzki Tears UCL While Skipping Rocks in the Hudson River; Requires Tommy John Surgery

by Luke DePalatis

Just five games into his tenure with the New York Yankees, team doctors announced that former All-Star shortstop Troy Tulowitzki will be sidelined for the remainder of the regular season after tearing his ulnar cruciate ligament (UCL) while skipping rocks in the Hudson river.

Continue reading “Troy Tulowitzki Tears UCL While Skipping Rocks in the Hudson River; Requires Tommy John Surgery”