Category: Baseball

Twins Fans Switch TVs to Presidential Debate to Watch Something Less Infuriating

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images

As day one of the Major League Baseball postseason winds down, it’s clear that one narrative in particular is going to be hard to shake: the Minnesota Twins still can’t win a postseason baseball game. The Minnesota faithful, frustrated by the state of their team, collectively decided to watch the first Presidential Debate instead so they could relax with some less infuriating content. Continue reading “Twins Fans Switch TVs to Presidential Debate to Watch Something Less Infuriating”

Marlins Suddenly Remember They’re the Marlins, Give Up 29 Runs Against Atlanta

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Jason Getz-USA TODAY Sports

In a season that has seen the Marlins come dangerously close to postseason contention, Miami finally came to their senses on Wednesday and remembered they’re one of the most pathetic sports franchises in North America, giving up a National League-record 29 runs against the Atlanta Braves. Continue reading “Marlins Suddenly Remember They’re the Marlins, Give Up 29 Runs Against Atlanta”

San Francisco Giants Accidentally Score All of Season’s Offense in One Night

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Sportsnation

In the midst of a mercurial season for the quasi-rebuilding Giants, manager Gabe Kapler and the squad made an outrageous blunder in Tuesday night’s game against the Colorado Rockies, accidentally scoring all 23 runs that they had allotted for the remainder of the season in one night. Continue reading “San Francisco Giants Accidentally Score All of Season’s Offense in One Night”

Mike Clevinger on Trade: ‘I’m Ready to Help Padres Violate COVID-19 Protocol in Any Way I Can’

by Alex Poletti
Photo by BleacherNation

After getting shipped off to the surging San Diego Padres in a last-minute blockbuster deal at the 2020 trade deadline, starting pitcher Mike Clevinger vowed to help his team succeed in any way, most notably by violating the COVID-19 protocols for his new team. Continue reading “Mike Clevinger on Trade: ‘I’m Ready to Help Padres Violate COVID-19 Protocol in Any Way I Can’”

No. 1 MLB Draft Pick Spencer Torkelson Becomes First Player in History to Be Taken Out of Zoom University

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Hilary Scheinuk/The Advocate via AP

When the Detroit Tigers selected third baseman Spencer Torkelson with the first overall pick in the 2020 MLB draft, they made history on two fronts; the highly-regarded hitter became the first infielder taken at the top spot in franchise history and the first ever player taken out of Zoom University. Continue reading “No. 1 MLB Draft Pick Spencer Torkelson Becomes First Player in History to Be Taken Out of Zoom University”

MLB to Give Draft Picks Signed Copy of ‘Bull Durham’ in Lieu of Signing Bonus

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Orion Pictures

Looking to cut costs amid the coronavirus epidemic, Major League Baseball and the MLB Players Association have agreed to give all draft picks in the upcoming shortened 2020 draft a signed copy of the 1988 hit romantic comedy sports film “Bull Durham” instead of a signing bonus. Continue reading “MLB to Give Draft Picks Signed Copy of ‘Bull Durham’ in Lieu of Signing Bonus”

MLB Hypothesizes It Could Adhere to Social Distancing Guidelines by Holding All Games at Marlins Park with Standard Attendance

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Steve Mitchell / USA Today Sports

Looking for a way to start the season as soon as possible, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred disclosed that the league has considered holding all games at Marlins Park in Miami with no restrictions on fan attendance, as the number of fans generally going to Marlins games would adhere to all social distancing guidelines. Continue reading “MLB Hypothesizes It Could Adhere to Social Distancing Guidelines by Holding All Games at Marlins Park with Standard Attendance”

Derek Jeter Forgoes $5 Million Salary So He Doesn’t Have to Appear on Marlins Payroll

by Alex Poletti
Photo by AP Photo

Amid the coronavirus pandemic, some industry leaders are doing what they can to help their business and employees stay afloat during these uncertain times. Hall of Fame shortstop and Marlins CEO Derek Jeter has joined that list, forgoing his salary of $5 million; however, Jeter tells The Second String that this was only to avoid the embarrassment of being listed on the Marlins’ payroll. Continue reading “Derek Jeter Forgoes $5 Million Salary So He Doesn’t Have to Appear on Marlins Payroll”

MLB Managers Urge Pitchers to Get Tommy John Surgery Now

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Kathy Willens/Associated Press

With the Major League Baseball season on hiatus until further notice, managers are trying to make the best of the situation by telling their top pitchers to get Tommy John surgery now, while they likely won’t miss any playing time. Continue reading “MLB Managers Urge Pitchers to Get Tommy John Surgery Now”

‘Field of Dreams’ Players Quietly Take Over Major League Stadiums on Game-less Opening Day

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Universal Studios

At the start of the year, the 2020 baseball calendar had March 26 marked as Opening Day, with the Cubs taking on the Brewers in Milwaukee to begin the season. However, due to the COVID-19 pandemic, the season was postponed, meaning the stadiums were left without players or fans. Taking advantage of this, the players from the “Field of Dreams” decided to move into the Major League parks for a bit.

Continue reading “‘Field of Dreams’ Players Quietly Take Over Major League Stadiums on Game-less Opening Day”