Tom Brady Says He's 'Seriously Considering' Offer from Head and Shoulders Shampoo

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Winslow Townson

The biggest question of the football off-season keeps getting more and more complicated. Six-time Super Bowl champion Tom Brady told The Second String on Sunday that he is “seriously considering” signing with Head and Shoulders shampoo, following an impressive pitch they made last week. Continue reading “Tom Brady Says He's 'Seriously Considering' Offer from Head and Shoulders Shampoo”

Myles Garrett Commits Double-Homicide to Get Back In Good Graces of NFL

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Getty

It was a rough season for Cleveland Browns defensive end Myles Garrett, not only because he was a defensive end for the Cleveland Browns, but also because he was suspended indefinitely following an altercation with Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Mason Rudolph on November 14. Fortunately for the 2017 first overall draft pick, Garrett will get a fresh start after murdering two people to get back in the NFL’s good graces. Continue reading “Myles Garrett Commits Double-Homicide to Get Back In Good Graces of NFL”

Devin Booker Finally Gets All-Star Nod Through Hard Work, Bashing in Damian Lillard’s Knee Caps

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images

After two years of playing All-Star-level basketball, Devin Booker has finally been recognized. The Phoenix Suns shooting guard was selected to replace Damian Lillard for Team LeBron following the Portland star’s injury. For his success, Booker credited God, his work ethic and his decision to smash Damian Lillard’s knee caps with a baseball bat.

Continue reading “Devin Booker Finally Gets All-Star Nod Through Hard Work, Bashing in Damian Lillard’s Knee Caps”

Zion Williamson Surprised to Be Living Up to Expectation of Being First Overall Pick

by Alex Poletti
Photo by The Athletic

After scoring a career-high 31 points in a 138-117 victory over the Portland Trail Blazer, Pelicans superstar Zion Williamson admitted to reporters that he did not expect to be living up to the hype of being the first overall draft pick in 2019. Continue reading “Zion Williamson Surprised to Be Living Up to Expectation of Being First Overall Pick”

Taysom Hill Hopes to Fill Lamar Jackson’s Mold of Quarterback Who Really Should Just Be a Wide Receiver

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Jonathan Bachman/Getty

Flex player extraordinaire Taysom Hill told reporters that he wants to be a quarterback in the NFL, even if it means leaving the New Orleans Saints. As a role model, he looks to unanimous MVP Lamar Jackson, who was profiled by some as more of a wide receiver coming out of the draft; however, he differs from the Ravens QB, as Hill has the potential to actually stay a receiver. Continue reading “Taysom Hill Hopes to Fill Lamar Jackson’s Mold of Quarterback Who Really Should Just Be a Wide Receiver”

Critics Outraged After ‘Parasite’ Wins Best Picture Oscar Over ‘Space Jam’

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Noel West/New York Times

Another Academy Awards ceremony has come and gone, and as usual not without its controversies. Aside from a questionable speech from Joaquin Phoenix and a few less-than-interesting presenters, the biggest story was a surprise upset in the Best Picture category, with Bong Joon-Ho’s Korean-language “Parasite” winning over the 1996 blockbuster hit “Space Jam.” Continue reading “Critics Outraged After ‘Parasite’ Wins Best Picture Oscar Over ‘Space Jam’”

Jon Jones Wins Title of Person You Don’t Want to Run Into in a Dark Alleyway at UFC 247

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Sean M. Haffey/Getty Images

Jon Jones had a night to remember on Saturday, not only retaining the UFC light heavyweight title against Dominick Reyes, but also being named the last person you want to run into in a dark alleyway at night by a unanimous decision.

Continue reading “Jon Jones Wins Title of Person You Don’t Want to Run Into in a Dark Alleyway at UFC 247”