Tag: Canadian

Kevin Durant Encouraged to Take Up Knitting After Achilles Tear

by Alex Poletti

After a heartbreaking injury in game five of the NBA Finals, Golden State Warriors forward Kevin Durant looks likely to be in recovery for a considerable amount of time, leading Director of Sports Medicine and Performance Rick Celebrini to suggest knitting as an alternative to basketball.

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Toronto Fans Blasted for Cheering After Eight-Year-Old Warriors Fan Falls, Skins Knee

by Luke DePalatis

After the Golden State Warriors managed to pull together a miracle win in the NBA finals last night, all was looking up for 8-year-old Timmy Miller, a local Oakland resident and Warriors fan. Though an emotionally taxing game, due to Kevin Durant’s injury, Timmy was in his front yard, shooting hoops with his father, Todd.

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Breaking: Raptors Hired Tonya Harding to Give Warriors Nancy Kerrigan Treatment

by Alex Poletti

In a shocking discovery by two San Francisco private investigators, a conspiracy has been revealed in which the Toronto Raptors hired Tonya Harding as a consultant to injure several members of the Golden State Warriors team, including Kevin Durant, Klay Thompson and DeMarcus Cousins.

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Being Canadian, Raptors Too Nice To Win Two in a Row Against Warriors

by Alex Poletti

After winning game one of the 2019 NBA Finals against the Golden State Warriors by a score of 118-109, the Toronto Raptors have announced that, due to their polite Canadian nature, they will not win the second game of the series.

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