Tag: Christian Yelich

Christian Yelich, Brewers Agree on Nine-Broken-Knee-Cap Deal Worth $215 Million

by Alex Poletti
Photo by NY Post

2018 NL MVP Christian Yelich has agreed to a deal that will keep him with the Milwaukee Brewers for his next nine broken knee caps for a grand total of $215 million. Continue reading “Christian Yelich, Brewers Agree on Nine-Broken-Knee-Cap Deal Worth $215 Million”

Trout and Yelich Not Done for Season, Just Going to MVP Farm Upstate

by Alex Poletti

With news that Mike Trout will undergo surgery on his right foot, both the American and National League MVP favorites will not play another game for the remainder of 2019. However, the commissioner has assured fans that Trout and Christian Yelich aren’t done for the season, but just resting at a lovely MVP farm upstate.

Continue reading “Trout and Yelich Not Done for Season, Just Going to MVP Farm Upstate”

Brewers to Replace Christian Yelich with Pete Davidson for Remainder of Season

by Alex Poletti

Brewers fans everywhere were heartbroken as superstar outfielder Christian Yelich crouched in agony after taking a foul ball off his right knee. After the game had concluded, the team announced that the reigning MVP’s knee cap was fractured as a result of the incident, ending his season. Milwaukee, still in the thick of the postseason race, was quick to sign comedian and certified Yelich look-alike Pete Davidson to replace his doppleganger for the rest of the year.

Continue reading “Brewers to Replace Christian Yelich with Pete Davidson for Remainder of Season”

Christian Yelich Hopes to Become First Horse to Win MLB Triple Crown

by Alex Poletti

As the Major League Baseball season reaches its end, there are still several questions left unanswered. More intriguing than the tight divisional races or home run records is the National League MVP voting, which comes down to the Dodgers’ Cody Bellinger and the Brewers’ Christian Yelich. Apart from the hardware, Yelich is looking to carve his own slice of history by becoming the first horse to win the triple crown.

Continue reading “Christian Yelich Hopes to Become First Horse to Win MLB Triple Crown”