Tag: Draft

Man Torn Between Remaining Shreds of Morality, Winning Fantasy Football League

by Alex Poletti

As football season rapidly approaches, Kansas City man Jack Poor faces a crisis as he must decide between protecting what’s left of his moral compass and drafting the best team available in his fantasy football league.

Continue reading “Man Torn Between Remaining Shreds of Morality, Winning Fantasy Football League”

To Show Dedication to New Team, Zion Turns into Real Pelican

by Alex Poletti

After the first pick was announced at Barclays Center in New York, what many fans suspected and analysts guaranteed became a reality: Zion Williamson became a New Orleans Pelican. To quell any doubt that the Duke superstar was unimpressed with the organization that held the first pick, Zion went above and beyond by turning into a real pelican, showing his dedication to his new organization.

Continue reading “To Show Dedication to New Team, Zion Turns into Real Pelican”

Adley Rutschman Rushes to Become Oklahoma QB After Realizing He Was Drafted By Orioles

by Alex Poletti

While most players and families would celebrate ecstatically after being selected with the first overall pick in the MLB draft, Oregon State catcher Adley Rutschman frantically looked for his phone as he attempted to transfer to the University of Oklahoma to become a quarterback in an effort to avoid playing for the Baltimore Orioles.

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If New Orleans Plays Cards Right, Zion Could Be Pelicans’ Best Trade Candidate Ever

by Alex Poletti

With all the buzz around the NBA draft, one thing remains certain: the Pelicans have the first overall pick. And with that pick, they will draft a generational talent in Zion Williamson.

Continue reading “If New Orleans Plays Cards Right, Zion Could Be Pelicans’ Best Trade Candidate Ever”

Knicks, Fans Outraged Their Horrendous Tank Wasn’t Rewarded with Top Pick in Draft Lottery

by Alex Poletti

As the third pick was announced via the NBA Draft Lottery on Tuesday, bars around the Tri-state Area collectively moaned, knowing they missed out on Zion Williamson despite being the worst team in the NBA by a country mile.

Continue reading “Knicks, Fans Outraged Their Horrendous Tank Wasn’t Rewarded with Top Pick in Draft Lottery”

Scouting Report: Jarrett Culver Has Russell Westbrook-Level Talent, But Only in Playoffs

by Alex Poletti

With the NBA draft just over one month away, The Second String brings a series where our team of analysts dissects every aspect of a prospect’s game to see if they are really worth a top ten lottery pick. Here’s our pick for number five:

Continue reading “Scouting Report: Jarrett Culver Has Russell Westbrook-Level Talent, But Only in Playoffs”

Scouting Report: De’Andre Hunter Has Defense, Lacks Eye-Poking Ability to be Next Draymond Green

by Alex Poletti

With the NBA draft under two months away, The Second String brings a new series where our team of analysts dissects every aspect of a prospect’s game to see if they are really worth a top ten lottery pick. Here’s our pick for number four: Continue reading “Scouting Report: De’Andre Hunter Has Defense, Lacks Eye-Poking Ability to be Next Draymond Green”