Tag: Kansas City Chiefs

Report: ‘Jimmy Geesus’ Garoppolo Now More Popular than Actual Jesus in San Francisco

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Chuck Cook-USA TODAY Sports

It’s been a good year for San Francisco quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo. Not only has the former Patriot found his way to the Super Bowl, but he recently overtook Jesus of Nazareth, the lord and savior of the Christian religion, in a new poll of most popular Jesuses in San Francisco, a report by The Second String shows. Continue reading “Report: ‘Jimmy Geesus’ Garoppolo Now More Popular than Actual Jesus in San Francisco”

Andy Reid Stares at Self in Mirror Following Chiefs’ AFC Championship Win, Not Recognizing Winning Coach He’s Become

by Alex Poletti
Photo by JEFF ROBERSON / AP

An identity crisis struck Kansas City Chiefs head coach Andy Reid following his team’s AFC Championship victory over the Tennessee Titans, as he stared at himself in the mirror for hours afterwards, not able to recognize the successful coach he has become.

Continue reading “Andy Reid Stares at Self in Mirror Following Chiefs’ AFC Championship Win, Not Recognizing Winning Coach He’s Become”

Aaron Rodgers Released by State Farm Following NFC Championship Loss

by Alex Poletti
Photo by AP Photo/Ben Margot

Insurance behemoth State Farm announced that they are parting ways with star quarterback and advertising frontman Aaron Rodgers following his disappointing loss to the San Francisco 49ers in the NFC Championship.

Continue reading “Aaron Rodgers Released by State Farm Following NFC Championship Loss”

Patrick Mahomes Asks State Farm If He Can Insure Playoffs

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Getty Images

With a lengthy history of failure under the brightest lights, 2018-19 NFL MVP and commercial face of State Farm Patrick Mahomes asked the company if he could insure the playoffs with the Kansas City Chiefs, given the team’s unfortunate track record.

Continue reading “Patrick Mahomes Asks State Farm If He Can Insure Playoffs”

‘Why Would God Do This to Me?’ Tyreek Hill Laments, Forgetting Some Obvious Reasons

by Alex Poletti

The Kansas City Chiefs were hit with some bad news prior to their week two matchup against the Raiders, as it was announced that their primary receiving target, Tyreek Hill, will miss 4-6 weeks with a clavicle injury. Hill, who is currently in agonizing pain, questions why God would curse him like this, forgetting some pretty obvious reasons from his past that could justify the incident.

Continue reading “‘Why Would God Do This to Me?’ Tyreek Hill Laments, Forgetting Some Obvious Reasons”