Tag: New York Knicks

Ben Simmons’ First Career Three-Pointer Immediately Opens Portal to Upside Down

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Getty

The unthinkable happened Wednesday, as former first overall draft pick Ben Simmons drained his the first three-point shot of his NBA career in the first quarter against the New York Knicks. As a result, the universe, unaware that such a shot could be made, experienced a tear in its fabric that turned Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia into a portal to the Upside Down.

Continue reading “Ben Simmons’ First Career Three-Pointer Immediately Opens Portal to Upside Down”

New York Knicks Unveil 2019 Lineup, Featuring Cardboard Cutouts of Kevin Durant, Zion Williamson

by Alex Poletti

After a decidedly difficult offseason, the New York Knicks unveiled their formidable lineup for the 2019-2020 season, which includes first-round draft pick R.J. Barrett and cardboard cutouts of Kevin Durant and Zion Williamson.

Continue reading “New York Knicks Unveil 2019 Lineup, Featuring Cardboard Cutouts of Kevin Durant, Zion Williamson”

‘I Don’t Know Where I’m Playing Next Year’ says KD While Covering Up Knicks Apparel

by Alex Poletti

In a press conference Thursday, Warriors forward Kevin Durant repeatedly stated that he had not yet made up his mind about where he will play next year, all while hiding his various Knicks items from the press.

Continue reading “‘I Don’t Know Where I’m Playing Next Year’ says KD While Covering Up Knicks Apparel”

Knicks, Fans Outraged Their Horrendous Tank Wasn’t Rewarded with Top Pick in Draft Lottery

by Alex Poletti

As the third pick was announced via the NBA Draft Lottery on Tuesday, bars around the Tri-state Area collectively moaned, knowing they missed out on Zion Williamson despite being the worst team in the NBA by a country mile.

Continue reading “Knicks, Fans Outraged Their Horrendous Tank Wasn’t Rewarded with Top Pick in Draft Lottery”