Tag: NFL

NFL Punishes DeSean Jackson for Antisemitic Hate Speech by Giving Him Partial Ownership of Washington Football Team

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

Amid a summer of protests in support of the Black Lives Matter movement that saw the NFL officially condemn systemic racism, the league was rocked with its own scandal when Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver DeSean Jackson shared an antisemitic quote falsely attributed to Adolf Hitler on Instagram. Roger Goodell was swift to act, however, levying a harsh punishment by awarding the wideout a share of the Washington football team. Continue reading “NFL Punishes DeSean Jackson for Antisemitic Hate Speech by Giving Him Partial Ownership of Washington Football Team”

Study Shows Yogi Smarter than the Average Chicago Bear

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Joe Robbins/AP Photo

A groundbreaking study conducted by Northwestern University shows that Jellystone Park resident Yogi Bear’s catch phrase has a newfound universality, as the study found conclusive evidence that Yogi is smarter than the average Chicago Bear. Continue reading “Study Shows Yogi Smarter than the Average Chicago Bear”

With Tua Off the Board, Chargers Select Flaming Pile of Trash at Sixth Overall

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports

Hoping their future franchise quarterback would fall past the Miami Dolphins, the Los Angeles Chargers watched their dreams of Tua Tagovailoa playing in a mid-size soccer stadium on Thursday night. Instead of drafting a legitimate quarterback or trying to build the rest of their team with the next pick, the Chargers opted to select a literal flaming pile of trash at sixth overall. Continue reading “With Tua Off the Board, Chargers Select Flaming Pile of Trash at Sixth Overall”

Tua Tagovailoa Breaks Hip Accepting Zoom Call from Miami Dolphins

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Getty Images

Tua Tagovailoa’s NFL career is already off to a rocky start. After getting drafted by the Miami Dolphins with the fifth overall pick, the Alabama quarterback broke his hip trying to accept a zoom call invitation from his future team. Continue reading “Tua Tagovailoa Breaks Hip Accepting Zoom Call from Miami Dolphins”

Disappointed Joe Burrow Declines Vineyard Vines Job After Being Drafted First Overall

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Gerald Herbert

As the Cincinnati Bengals selected LSU quarterback Joe Burrow with the first overall selection in the 2020 draft, the usually-smiling Burrow was seen with a less content look on his face. Burrow tells The Second String that now that he has been officially drafted to the NFL, he must forgo his dream of working at the Vineyard Vines store nearest his hometown. Continue reading “Disappointed Joe Burrow Declines Vineyard Vines Job After Being Drafted First Overall”

Rob Gronkowski Says He’s Only Coming Out of Retirement for a Few More Concussions

by Alex Poletti
Photo by USA Today

The balance of the NFL was tilted in the favor of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers on Tuesday, as four-time All-Pro tight end Rob Gronkowski came out of retirement to play with his former quarterback, Tom Brady. Gronkowski tells reporters that he’s not planning on staying in the league forever, just until he gets a couple more concussions under his belt. Continue reading “Rob Gronkowski Says He’s Only Coming Out of Retirement for a Few More Concussions”

Fans Shocked as XFL, League with History of Closing Down, Closes Down

by Alex Poletti
Photo by XFL

In a move that left many in the sports world speechless, the XFL suspended operations and laid off a vast majority of its workers. This surprised many, despite the fact that the XFL already shut down once before in 2001 and has followed a history of Spring football leagues that have never been successful. Continue reading “Fans Shocked as XFL, League with History of Closing Down, Closes Down”

Melvin Gordon Excited for Opportunity with Broncos to Be Replaced by League-Average Running Back Again

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Kevork Djansezian / Getty Images

A few weeks after signing a two-year deal with the division rival Denver Broncos, former Chargers running back Melvin Gordon spoke out on the contract. In a phone interview with The Second String, he expressed his excitement for facing the Chargers twice and the opportunity to be replaced by a league-average halfback for the second straight year.

Continue reading “Melvin Gordon Excited for Opportunity with Broncos to Be Replaced by League-Average Running Back Again”

Nick Foles Predicts Bears QB Battle Will Come Down to THIS Metric Sooner or Later

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Reinhold Matay

Super Bowl MVP Nick Foles has something to prove this year after losing his starting job in Jacksonville to rookie Gardner Minshew. Just a year after signing a four-year, $88 million contract with the Jaguars, the former Eagles backup has been traded to the Chicago Bears, where he intends to compete for the quarterback position with former second-overall pick Mitch Trubisky. When asked about the competition, Foles predicts that it will become a dick-measuring contest sooner rather than later. Continue reading “Nick Foles Predicts Bears QB Battle Will Come Down to THIS Metric Sooner or Later”

Houston Texans Acquire David Johnson For DeAndre Hopkins, Hopes and Dreams of Winning a Championship

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Jake Roth-USA TODAY

The Houston Texans shocked the world on Tuesday with the biggest trade of the NFL offseason, acquiring running back David Johnson and a second-round pick in exchange for DeAndre Hopkins and any hope of their franchise ever winning the Super Bowl. Continue reading “Houston Texans Acquire David Johnson For DeAndre Hopkins, Hopes and Dreams of Winning a Championship”