Tag: Playoffs

Taysom Hill Hopes to Fill Lamar Jackson’s Mold of Quarterback Who Really Should Just Be a Wide Receiver

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Jonathan Bachman/Getty

Flex player extraordinaire Taysom Hill told reporters that he wants to be a quarterback in the NFL, even if it means leaving the New Orleans Saints. As a role model, he looks to unanimous MVP Lamar Jackson, who was profiled by some as more of a wide receiver coming out of the draft; however, he differs from the Ravens QB, as Hill has the potential to actually stay a receiver. Continue reading “Taysom Hill Hopes to Fill Lamar Jackson’s Mold of Quarterback Who Really Should Just Be a Wide Receiver”

Lamar Jackson to Give Derrick Henry Lunch Money for Remainder of Playoffs

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Getty Images

Claiming his status as top dog in the AFC by forcing likely-MVP Lamar Jackson to submit to his will, Tennessee Titans running back Derrick Henry will now receive the Ravens quarterback’s lunch money for the remainder of the playoffs.

Continue reading “Lamar Jackson to Give Derrick Henry Lunch Money for Remainder of Playoffs”

Roger Goodell Says Spanking Not Out of the Question for Patriots Punishment

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Eric Christian Smith, Associated Press

Looking to take a hard stance on the scandal involving the Patriots taping the Bengals’ sideline prior to a week 15 matchup in Cincinnati, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has confirmed that a good spanking is not out of the question in his consideration for possible punishments.

Continue reading “Roger Goodell Says Spanking Not Out of the Question for Patriots Punishment”

Patrick Mahomes Asks State Farm If He Can Insure Playoffs

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Getty Images

With a lengthy history of failure under the brightest lights, 2018-19 NFL MVP and commercial face of State Farm Patrick Mahomes asked the company if he could insure the playoffs with the Kansas City Chiefs, given the team’s unfortunate track record.

Continue reading “Patrick Mahomes Asks State Farm If He Can Insure Playoffs”

ESPN Greenlights ‘Titanic’ Remake Starring Kurt Suzuki and Donald Trump

by Alex Poletti
Photo by WIN MCNAMEE/GETTY

Inspired by the shared moment between catcher Kurt Suzuki and President Donald Trump during the Washington Nationals’ White House visit, ESPN has announced that they will be producing a remake of the 1997 hit James Cameron film “Titanic,” with the World Series champ and the former real estate mogul in the leading roles.

Continue reading “ESPN Greenlights ‘Titanic’ Remake Starring Kurt Suzuki and Donald Trump”

Gerardo Parra Reveals to Nationals that World Series Ring Was Inside Them All Along

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Frey/The Washington Post

Acting as a clubhouse leader throughout the 2019 postseason en route to a World Series championship, outfielder Gerardo Parra had a message for his fellow Washington teammates: the World Series ring that they all wanted so badly was inside them all along.

Continue reading “Gerardo Parra Reveals to Nationals that World Series Ring Was Inside Them All Along”

‘My Life is Incomplete Without a World Series Win’ Says Multi-Millionaire Justin Verlander, Consoled by Supermodel Wife

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Getty Images

Despite pitching admirably, allowing three runs in five innings, Justin Verlander was no match for Stephen Strasburg in game six of the World Series. Verlander was tagged with the loss, his sixth in seven starts in the Fall Classic, extending his streak for most starts without a win on baseball’s biggest stage. With his daughter, supermodel wife, hundreds of millions of dollars and dozens of vintage cars surrounding him, the Cy Young candidate expressed frustration that his life wasn’t that good.

Continue reading “‘My Life is Incomplete Without a World Series Win’ Says Multi-Millionaire Justin Verlander, Consoled by Supermodel Wife”

Nationals Fans Still Surprised After Blowing Two-Game Lead in Playoffs

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Patrick Smith/Getty Images

Following two statement wins in Houston to take a commanding lead in the Word Series, the National League champions dropped three straight at home and are now on the brink of elimination. Despite following a clear pattern, Nationals fans are somehow still shocked after Washington blew a two-game lead in October.

Continue reading “Nationals Fans Still Surprised After Blowing Two-Game Lead in Playoffs”

Astros Fans Eagerly Await Sports Illustrated to Predict Next World Series Championship

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Alex Trautwig / MLB Photos / Getty

Down two games to zero in the 2019 World Series, Houston Astros fans have turned back to Sports Illustrated to predict their next World Series win, who called their 2017 championship run in 2014.

Continue reading “Astros Fans Eagerly Await Sports Illustrated to Predict Next World Series Championship”

20-Year-Old Phenom Juan Soto Rushes Back to Psych Lecture After Skipping Class to Play in World Series

by Alex Poletti

The hero in game one against the Houston Astros, Washington Nationals left fielder Juan Soto couldn’t celebrate long, as the 20-year-old had to rush back to the psych lecture he skipped to play in the World Series.

Continue reading “20-Year-Old Phenom Juan Soto Rushes Back to Psych Lecture After Skipping Class to Play in World Series”