Tag: Roger Goodell

Washington Football Team Attracting Fans Vaguely Interested in Sports

by Alex Poletti
Photo by CNN

Over a month after officially changing their name, the Washington Football Team has experienced some unexpected positive side effects of abandoning their racist nickname in favor of a more ambiguous title, as they have gained a number of new fans that are interested in a vaguer sports experience. Continue reading “Washington Football Team Attracting Fans Vaguely Interested in Sports”

NFL Punishes DeSean Jackson for Antisemitic Hate Speech by Giving Him Partial Ownership of Washington Football Team

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

Amid a summer of protests in support of the Black Lives Matter movement that saw the NFL officially condemn systemic racism, the league was rocked with its own scandal when Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver DeSean Jackson shared an antisemitic quote falsely attributed to Adolf Hitler on Instagram. Roger Goodell was swift to act, however, levying a harsh punishment by awarding the wideout a share of the Washington football team. Continue reading “NFL Punishes DeSean Jackson for Antisemitic Hate Speech by Giving Him Partial Ownership of Washington Football Team”

Myles Garrett Commits Double-Homicide to Get Back In Good Graces of NFL

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Getty

It was a rough season for Cleveland Browns defensive end Myles Garrett, not only because he was a defensive end for the Cleveland Browns, but also because he was suspended indefinitely following an altercation with Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Mason Rudolph on November 14. Fortunately for the 2017 first overall draft pick, Garrett will get a fresh start after murdering two people to get back in the NFL’s good graces. Continue reading “Myles Garrett Commits Double-Homicide to Get Back In Good Graces of NFL”

Roger Goodell Says Spanking Not Out of the Question for Patriots Punishment

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Eric Christian Smith, Associated Press

Looking to take a hard stance on the scandal involving the Patriots taping the Bengals’ sideline prior to a week 15 matchup in Cincinnati, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has confirmed that a good spanking is not out of the question in his consideration for possible punishments.

Continue reading “Roger Goodell Says Spanking Not Out of the Question for Patriots Punishment”