Tag: Trade

Dodgers Acquire Mookie Betts from Red Sox for Some Outfielder, I Guess

by Alex Poletti
Photo by Greg M. Cooper-USA TODAY Sports

The power balance of Major League Baseball has swung in the favor of the Los Angeles Dodgers after acquiring 2018 AL MVP Mookie Betts from the Boston Red Sox. In return, a reporter for The Second String informs us that the Red Sox will get some outfielder, I guess, and maybe a pitcher I think.

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Report Finds Giants Players Purposefully Tanking to Stay in San Francisco

by Alex Poletti

A shocking two-month long study by The Second String spotlight team has revealed that members of the San Francisco Giants are intentionally playing poorly to avoid getting traded and having to leave the city by the bay.
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Intense Pick-Up Basketball Player Still Emphatically Clapping

by Alex Poletti

That one 30-something white guy who is way too into a casual game of pick-up basketball is still emphatically clapping, sources report to The Second String. Other reports suggest that he is also shouting “let’s go” while pumping his fists after his latest three pointer.

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Anthony Davis Trade Reportedly Involves Three First-Round Picks, Two First-Born Children

by Alex Poletti

News broke on Saturday of a blockbuster trade sending Anthony Davis out west to become LeBron James’ right-hand man in Los Angeles. Now, the details have been released, showing that the return for Davis was steep; in total, the Pelicans will receive Lonzo Ball, Brandon Ingram, Josh Hart, three first-round draft picks, and two first-born children.

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‘I Don’t Know Where I’m Playing Next Year’ says KD While Covering Up Knicks Apparel

by Alex Poletti

In a press conference Thursday, Warriors forward Kevin Durant repeatedly stated that he had not yet made up his mind about where he will play next year, all while hiding his various Knicks items from the press.

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