Tag: Trail Blazers

Trail Blazers Reveal Plan for Seth Curry to Tell Mom if Steph Beats Him Too Badly

by Alex Poletti

In a press conference after Thursday’s loss to the Golden State Warriors in the Western Conference Finals, Portland head coach Terry Stotts unveiled his plan to defend against two-time MVP Steph Curry by having his younger brother, Trail Blazers guard Seth Curry, tell their mom Steph is beating him up.

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Stoner Disappointed By What ‘Blazers-Nugs’ Series Turned Out to Be

by Alex Poletti

When Denver resident and weed enthusiast Tommy McMahon was asked by a friend if he wanted to see the Blazers and the Nugs play, he had something different in mind. Despite the series featuring one of the best overtime games in recent memory and going to a winner-take-all game seven, McMahon couldn’t help but be disappointed.

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Fearing They’d Be Stuck in Overtime Forever, Trail Blazers, Nuggets Players Frantically Call Loved Ones

by Alex Poletti

During the four overtimes of the high-scoring Semifinal game between the Portland Trail Blazers and Denver Nuggets at Moda Center in Portland on Friday, players began to call their loved ones in case they never made it home.

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Damian Lillard Suspended After Box of Wheaties Found in Locker

by Alex Poletti

An astonishing game five performance and series win against the Oklahoma City Thunder was soon tainted as a box of Wheaties was discovered in Portland Trail Blazers point guard Damian Lillard’s locker. The delicious and nutritious cereal was banned by the NBA in 2017 for being too delicious and nutritious, leading to unparalleled performance enhancement.

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